Follow-up to yesterday's post

So not only did I make a good dinner choice, both in content and in taste, my new outfit was a smash hit, too. Yesterday was an all around win! OK, I did not exercise, but I was sore. In fact I am still good-sore today.

I have yet to decide what my afternoon workout will be today, but it will be something. Maybe the WiiFit. I have not done that in FOREVER and really liked it. No yoga tonight, all Friday night HWY classes are cancelled this month. My plan is to get up at 7am tomorrow so I can make it to the 7:45-8:45am class. I haven't been there since early June!!

And I think this is my 3rd day in a row of blogging... whoa.

Thursday 8/11

Wow was yoga awesome last night. We worked hard, got sweaty, and man, did I feel it this morning. My legs are sore, my arms are sore, my back is sore, my abs are sore.... and you know what

I LIKE IT!

It was the hey, I-worked-out-and-I-am-sore-today, but-I-like-it-and-want-to-do-it-again, kinda feeling! YAY! it is what I call good-sore. So I did some gentle stretches today. Don't want to hurt myself or make myself NOT want to exercise.

Oh and I reached a milestone that I meant to mention earlier, but wasn't blogging... I can do downward facing dog! Like really! I popped into dog the other night. I have been doing wall dog for awhile and I just went for it. Actually my body went for it before my brain had a chance to think it over and doubt I could do it! YESSSS! Jessica said she looked up and I was in down-dog and it surprised her (she knew I started out with an injured shoulder & hadn't done it before). She said I looked great! Great form and everything! WHAAAT! YES!

Anyway, it was cool & I have done it once more since then! :)

Tonight's challenge is to make a healthy choice when meeting friends out at a local bar & grill for a birthday celebration. I have taken a cue from my friend Shelli (who has lost 40+ lbs so far) and have scoped out the menu to see what lies ahead. I have decided to go for the Warm Bacon Spinach Salad with the dressing on the side:

Baby spinach, sliced egg,
bacon, bleu cheese, red
onions, seasoned green beans,
mushrooms, tomatoes, red
bell peppers, and warm bacon
balsamic vinaigrette.

Sounds yummy (sans tomatoes, of course!)

Enjoy your evening!

Surprizing honesty from an angry place

So I think that in my effort to be the worst blogger ever I am winning! And not in a creepy Charlie Sheen sort of way! I have not made the time to blog or do much of anything thing else really.

I am officially in a funk.

Meh.

I have fallen off the proverbial wagon and have to get my head straight so I can get my body straight.

One thing I have excelled at is massive water consumption. I have an awesome 20oz portable cup with lid & straw that I have permanently attached to me. WHOA! Looking it up (for the link) just gave me a happy-chair-dance moment. It is a 24oz tumbler!! I thought it was a 20oz cup! I have been getting 4 extra oz every time I fill up! YESSS! Now I HAZ A HAPPY!! WHAAAAT!?! :D

Ok, so yesterday I was already in a foul mood. I am feeling overwhelmed and under appreciated and in a really unhappy phase of school/work/weight loss, et al. I decided to post this pic of my self as inspiration. This photo is me at my most confident, most sexy, most beautiful, fairly fit (it was right before I joined the US Army) and it is just overall the most wonderful me. I love the way I am standing, the way I look (90s fashion aside), the sexy confidence I project (an ex was going to be at this formal & I wanted to show him what he was missing out on), and the curve of my waist-to-hip, the smoothness of my belly, all of it. I just LOVE this photo of me. It is how I can inspire myself to know that this is attainable. That underneath the excess I have now is this, this bone structure, this figure. THIS ME!

So, I am well aware of the risk of posting a photo of myself at a thinner, younger time. The comments were good and most people really liked the pic or offered words of encouragement. And then there was one, one that just made me say REALLY?!? A colleague in the Hist. Dept. took one look at my pic and looked me in the face and said "What happened?" I was so angry I wanted to tell him to get the fuck out of my office and die. BUT, when I opened my mouth an honest answer came out:

"Life happened, Dave. Life. Happened. I went from Army fit(ish) to no exercise, a 15-year sedentary lifestyle, and too much of everything in the non-healthy food choice department. That is what happened."

For a moment I felt completely raw, and open, and honest, and betrayed by myself. I thought I wanted to punch him in the nuts, even though I am not really a violent person, but his two-word question made me answer MYSELF honestly and I should be grateful to Dave for that, even though I certainly didn't feel it in the moment. And I didn't cry, so that was a big plus!

I felt wounded the rest of the afternoon and am so glad I made myself go to yoga. Yoga starting back up last night was truly what I needed to get my self back in line. It was stress-releasing, hard work, and completely cathartic. When we were getting ready for shavasana I told Jessica I was really hyper-stressed and was there a certain way I should do shavasana to help me out. She immediately said crocodile-pose "the world outside, Mylynka inside - and be sure to apply pressure to the space between your eyebrows." And when I pressed my forehead (third-eye)on my elbow I involuntarily began to cry. The release was amazing and I left yoga feeling better than I had all day. hell, better than I had felt in a week!!

When I checked my Facebook late last night my friend Karl had posted this as a comment to my photo and it just made my day.

Make it a great week and I hope to post more. I SAID "hope" - ha ha

The one about choices

So Dear Readers (apparently I am Miss Manners, or Dear Abby now...) I have to address a thing. It is not a great big thing, but a thing I need to address in any case.

I have to be happy being me and I have to be happy with what I do and how I do it. I am making healthful strides (YAY! 10lbs down!) and am very happy about it. I am exercising and am very happy about that, too. What I have to be careful of is being too radical, being too structured, and not being me.

Here is what I mean:

If I want a burger, I am gonna eat a burger. With bacon & cheese, if I want. Just not every day.

If I want a piece of cheesecake same rules apply.

I am a foodie. I love food, good food, especially, but sometimes I just want some tater tots (preferably from Sonic, and preferably with mustard).

Here is my realization... my "diets" in the past have failed because I was "trying" too hard. I was so wrapped up in WHAT I was eating (or not as the case usually is) that eating was not enjoyable, not pleasurable, was a task, a horrible chore that had to be done just so or I was a horrible, big, fat, failure.

I am talking about this tonight because I realized that I have a few food related hang-ups, and no, not the fact that I don't like raw tomatoes, or that I think all raw mushrooms taste like dirt (THEY DO!!), I realized I was feeling shame because I enjoyed a really good hamburger (with bacon and cheese) and some Cajun-seasoned fries with my husband tonight. I felt like a big failure because "how am I supposed to lose weight if this is what I am doing to myself" kept running through my head.

And I realized... NO! STOP!

I enjoyed my dinner. I had a wonderful, tasty meal with my husband. And a nice, relaxing, & fun time, too. Will I eat like that tomorrow, probably not. Am I aware of the food choices I make? Yes. Is it the end of the world? No. Will I still lose weight despite this one meal? All signs point to yes.

I am allowed to eat what I want. I have the wisdom (which is getting honed daily)to make good/better choices. I am not going to feel shame because I had a burger with my man. It is an interesting thing, I never feel particularly proud when I eat a plain chicken breast with steamed veggies.... NO MORE FOOD GUILT!

I kinda feel free already.

And for those of you who say I am making an excuse for bad eating behaviors, I kindly agree to disagree with you. This post is not about food but about the feelings of shame derived from food being labeled as "good" or "bad."

That's all.

DING DING DING DA DING DING DING

10lb down. FINALLY!!!

I don't even know how this happened! I have been eating kinda poorly since I got home. I have slipped back into old habits, haven't gone to exercise, etc. I think this is the Universe's way of saying "GET BACK TO WORK!!" :D

I am excited to weigh 265.0 (you can only be excited about that if you were once way over that!). So, now I have regained some motivation and have to catch up with Shelli & Jeanne who have set some pretty high standards! Shelli has lost 41lb and Jeanne was over 25lb down, so I have to get shakin' (literally AND figuratively!).

And to celebrate it's Fork In The Garbage Disposal Time!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ef6_9Wclh7Q&feature=related

Back home and ready to get back on track!

Hello from my desk in Texas! I am officially the Worst Travel Blogger EVER! I didn't post a single thing here while away. Ah well, I do have good excuses. Would you like to hear them?

1. While in London I was busy at the Royal Geographical Society & The British Library researching and did not feel like doing more reading/writing when I got back to the hotel each night.
2. When I got to Holland the battery for my laptop died and my charger was not working (come to find out it was just a faulty adapter plug - whew!). So no internet for me.
3. Once in Paris there were internet cafe's a-plenty, and cheap, too, but they were hot, crowded and I was in Paris for both work & pleasure, so was not in the mood to sit & blog in a sweaty internet cafe the size of a mid-size sedan. I think you'll forgive me.

So, I have decided to do a series of post-travel reports/blogs starting either later today or tomorrow. I have to get my week sorted out and get on with all the work I need to do as well.

I am glad to be back and am happy to report that I gained no weight while abroad. This largely due to the fact that I walked EVERYWHERE! It was greatness. I wish we had public transportation here.

More soon. I promise!! But here is a little touristy pic to tide you over until I truly do a travel-post.

Busy, busy bee

Hi folks!

I am still working on my fit quest but have been swamped with end of session grading etc. I am still going to yoga 3-4x/week and added both swimming & water aerobics to the mix so I am exercising 6-days a week!!

Watch this blog as it transfers over the next few weeks to be my Euro-trip blog! That's right the Fit-by-40 will be (hopefully) posting daily blogs from three European capitols: London, The Hague, and Paris.

My itinerary is as follows:

• June 21-26 London.
  
• June 27 - Eurostar train (via Brussels) to The Hague where I'll stay until July 1st.
  
• July 1st - train to Paris where I'll remain until my flight back to TX on July 6th!

I am going to London & The Hague to do research for my dissertation at the Royal Geographical Society, the British Library, and the Dutch National Archives. In Paris I am attending a workshop on the 19th century cartography of Africa (a portion of my dissertation covers 19th C Nile River exploration) put on by the International Cartography Association's Commission on the History of Cartography (say that 3 times fast).

I am beyond excited about my trip and have been lining up things I need from the Archives, people I need to meet, and places I must see. I am hoping to get to some of the famous museums in London after my day's work and may take a touristy double-decker bus tour to see the city in its entirety on Sat. or Sun.

One thing I want to do in the UK is go to Stonehenge. We never went when we lived in England and I really want to go. So we'll see.

But before I can get to London I have to pack and prepare for a weekend trip to San Antonio for an all-class High School Reunion for my Aviano Saints! Woo hoo!