The one about choices

So Dear Readers (apparently I am Miss Manners, or Dear Abby now...) I have to address a thing. It is not a great big thing, but a thing I need to address in any case.

I have to be happy being me and I have to be happy with what I do and how I do it. I am making healthful strides (YAY! 10lbs down!) and am very happy about it. I am exercising and am very happy about that, too. What I have to be careful of is being too radical, being too structured, and not being me.

Here is what I mean:

If I want a burger, I am gonna eat a burger. With bacon & cheese, if I want. Just not every day.

If I want a piece of cheesecake same rules apply.

I am a foodie. I love food, good food, especially, but sometimes I just want some tater tots (preferably from Sonic, and preferably with mustard).

Here is my realization... my "diets" in the past have failed because I was "trying" too hard. I was so wrapped up in WHAT I was eating (or not as the case usually is) that eating was not enjoyable, not pleasurable, was a task, a horrible chore that had to be done just so or I was a horrible, big, fat, failure.

I am talking about this tonight because I realized that I have a few food related hang-ups, and no, not the fact that I don't like raw tomatoes, or that I think all raw mushrooms taste like dirt (THEY DO!!), I realized I was feeling shame because I enjoyed a really good hamburger (with bacon and cheese) and some Cajun-seasoned fries with my husband tonight. I felt like a big failure because "how am I supposed to lose weight if this is what I am doing to myself" kept running through my head.

And I realized... NO! STOP!

I enjoyed my dinner. I had a wonderful, tasty meal with my husband. And a nice, relaxing, & fun time, too. Will I eat like that tomorrow, probably not. Am I aware of the food choices I make? Yes. Is it the end of the world? No. Will I still lose weight despite this one meal? All signs point to yes.

I am allowed to eat what I want. I have the wisdom (which is getting honed daily)to make good/better choices. I am not going to feel shame because I had a burger with my man. It is an interesting thing, I never feel particularly proud when I eat a plain chicken breast with steamed veggies.... NO MORE FOOD GUILT!

I kinda feel free already.

And for those of you who say I am making an excuse for bad eating behaviors, I kindly agree to disagree with you. This post is not about food but about the feelings of shame derived from food being labeled as "good" or "bad."

That's all.

DING DING DING DA DING DING DING

10lb down. FINALLY!!!

I don't even know how this happened! I have been eating kinda poorly since I got home. I have slipped back into old habits, haven't gone to exercise, etc. I think this is the Universe's way of saying "GET BACK TO WORK!!" :D

I am excited to weigh 265.0 (you can only be excited about that if you were once way over that!). So, now I have regained some motivation and have to catch up with Shelli & Jeanne who have set some pretty high standards! Shelli has lost 41lb and Jeanne was over 25lb down, so I have to get shakin' (literally AND figuratively!).

And to celebrate it's Fork In The Garbage Disposal Time!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ef6_9Wclh7Q&feature=related

Back home and ready to get back on track!

Hello from my desk in Texas! I am officially the Worst Travel Blogger EVER! I didn't post a single thing here while away. Ah well, I do have good excuses. Would you like to hear them?

1. While in London I was busy at the Royal Geographical Society & The British Library researching and did not feel like doing more reading/writing when I got back to the hotel each night.
2. When I got to Holland the battery for my laptop died and my charger was not working (come to find out it was just a faulty adapter plug - whew!). So no internet for me.
3. Once in Paris there were internet cafe's a-plenty, and cheap, too, but they were hot, crowded and I was in Paris for both work & pleasure, so was not in the mood to sit & blog in a sweaty internet cafe the size of a mid-size sedan. I think you'll forgive me.

So, I have decided to do a series of post-travel reports/blogs starting either later today or tomorrow. I have to get my week sorted out and get on with all the work I need to do as well.

I am glad to be back and am happy to report that I gained no weight while abroad. This largely due to the fact that I walked EVERYWHERE! It was greatness. I wish we had public transportation here.

More soon. I promise!! But here is a little touristy pic to tide you over until I truly do a travel-post.