Weigh-In Wednedsay

Ok, so the first of the Weigh-in Wednesdays begins here:

Start weight: 275

Last Week: 264.0

This Morning: 262.8


Progress!!! I was really expecting it to be 265, so I am kinda stoked!!

I have yet to track my food stuffs on MyFitnessPal, but will head there next.

Thanks for hanging in with me on the "boring" posts.

YOGA TONIGHT!!!

Backslider

"Just one word... BACKSLIDER!!" I <3 the Toadies.

But that is not what this post is about, an awesome mid-90's Toadies song. This post is about me owning up to my backslider ways. I realized, thanks to Facebook posting status updates from 2009 & 2010, that I started this blog & this journey 12 months ago and only have 12lbs to show for it. Not that I am begrudging my 12lbs weight loss, I am pleased with that. I just thought I'd be much further along by now. I am gonna have to rename this blog "Finding myself fit in my 40's."

True to most things in my life, I was really excited about this for about a month (maybe a bit more) before quitting. I did really well - I committed 100%... and then.... well, then I fell off. I quit going to the exercise classes, stopped eating healthy, getting plenty of rest, etc.

So, I have decided to own up to some things:

1. I have had 2 Big Macs in as many weeks (no fries, though)
2. Ditto for Sonic Kickin' Coneys & tots
   
3. and for Braum's Premium Ice Cream cones (Chocolate Almond double scoops)
4. and Popeye's Spicy chicken Strips w/red beans & rice.
5. I haven't been back to yoga (or any exercise) in two full weeks - I do miss that.
6. I stopped recording my food on MyFitnessPal (probably because I didn't want to face up to the 1000+ calories in those meals.)
   

So, was anything saved? YES!!. I have maintained my water-intake. I even took my 240z refillable Copco cup with me to Boston. (Sarah Engledow Brown will be proud). AND I think I only gained 1lb, we'll see tomorrow when I weight in.

Why did/does this happen?

1. Boredom
2. Laziness
3. Rebellion
4. Stress
5. Feeling overwhelmed by the prospect of it all
6. I am afraid of what life will be like if I get thin/healthy - sounds CRAZY, I know, but is true.
   

What am I gonna go about it (in no particular order)?

1. Blog regularly to clear my mind & conscious.
   
2. Have a Weigh-in Wednesday and report the results no matter what they are.
3. Keep the water routine going
   
4. Record my meals on MyFitnessPal - Kickin' Coneys' and all. I need to know what is going in my system.
   
5. Go back to yoga
   
6. Investigate what exercise classes are being offered at the MAC this semester
   
7. Plan weekly meals (I stopped doing that, too)
8. Be aware when I start to give-up and FORCE myself not to.

Ok, I think that is what I needed to say (mostly to myself). Now I REALLY have to go write class lectures.

Follow-up to yesterday's post

So not only did I make a good dinner choice, both in content and in taste, my new outfit was a smash hit, too. Yesterday was an all around win! OK, I did not exercise, but I was sore. In fact I am still good-sore today.

I have yet to decide what my afternoon workout will be today, but it will be something. Maybe the WiiFit. I have not done that in FOREVER and really liked it. No yoga tonight, all Friday night HWY classes are cancelled this month. My plan is to get up at 7am tomorrow so I can make it to the 7:45-8:45am class. I haven't been there since early June!!

And I think this is my 3rd day in a row of blogging... whoa.

Thursday 8/11

Wow was yoga awesome last night. We worked hard, got sweaty, and man, did I feel it this morning. My legs are sore, my arms are sore, my back is sore, my abs are sore.... and you know what

I LIKE IT!

It was the hey, I-worked-out-and-I-am-sore-today, but-I-like-it-and-want-to-do-it-again, kinda feeling! YAY! it is what I call good-sore. So I did some gentle stretches today. Don't want to hurt myself or make myself NOT want to exercise.

Oh and I reached a milestone that I meant to mention earlier, but wasn't blogging... I can do downward facing dog! Like really! I popped into dog the other night. I have been doing wall dog for awhile and I just went for it. Actually my body went for it before my brain had a chance to think it over and doubt I could do it! YESSSS! Jessica said she looked up and I was in down-dog and it surprised her (she knew I started out with an injured shoulder & hadn't done it before). She said I looked great! Great form and everything! WHAAAT! YES!

Anyway, it was cool & I have done it once more since then! :)

Tonight's challenge is to make a healthy choice when meeting friends out at a local bar & grill for a birthday celebration. I have taken a cue from my friend Shelli (who has lost 40+ lbs so far) and have scoped out the menu to see what lies ahead. I have decided to go for the Warm Bacon Spinach Salad with the dressing on the side:

Baby spinach, sliced egg,
bacon, bleu cheese, red
onions, seasoned green beans,
mushrooms, tomatoes, red
bell peppers, and warm bacon
balsamic vinaigrette.

Sounds yummy (sans tomatoes, of course!)

Enjoy your evening!

Surprizing honesty from an angry place

So I think that in my effort to be the worst blogger ever I am winning! And not in a creepy Charlie Sheen sort of way! I have not made the time to blog or do much of anything thing else really.

I am officially in a funk.

Meh.

I have fallen off the proverbial wagon and have to get my head straight so I can get my body straight.

One thing I have excelled at is massive water consumption. I have an awesome 20oz portable cup with lid & straw that I have permanently attached to me. WHOA! Looking it up (for the link) just gave me a happy-chair-dance moment. It is a 24oz tumbler!! I thought it was a 20oz cup! I have been getting 4 extra oz every time I fill up! YESSS! Now I HAZ A HAPPY!! WHAAAAT!?! :D

Ok, so yesterday I was already in a foul mood. I am feeling overwhelmed and under appreciated and in a really unhappy phase of school/work/weight loss, et al. I decided to post this pic of my self as inspiration. This photo is me at my most confident, most sexy, most beautiful, fairly fit (it was right before I joined the US Army) and it is just overall the most wonderful me. I love the way I am standing, the way I look (90s fashion aside), the sexy confidence I project (an ex was going to be at this formal & I wanted to show him what he was missing out on), and the curve of my waist-to-hip, the smoothness of my belly, all of it. I just LOVE this photo of me. It is how I can inspire myself to know that this is attainable. That underneath the excess I have now is this, this bone structure, this figure. THIS ME!

So, I am well aware of the risk of posting a photo of myself at a thinner, younger time. The comments were good and most people really liked the pic or offered words of encouragement. And then there was one, one that just made me say REALLY?!? A colleague in the Hist. Dept. took one look at my pic and looked me in the face and said "What happened?" I was so angry I wanted to tell him to get the fuck out of my office and die. BUT, when I opened my mouth an honest answer came out:

"Life happened, Dave. Life. Happened. I went from Army fit(ish) to no exercise, a 15-year sedentary lifestyle, and too much of everything in the non-healthy food choice department. That is what happened."

For a moment I felt completely raw, and open, and honest, and betrayed by myself. I thought I wanted to punch him in the nuts, even though I am not really a violent person, but his two-word question made me answer MYSELF honestly and I should be grateful to Dave for that, even though I certainly didn't feel it in the moment. And I didn't cry, so that was a big plus!

I felt wounded the rest of the afternoon and am so glad I made myself go to yoga. Yoga starting back up last night was truly what I needed to get my self back in line. It was stress-releasing, hard work, and completely cathartic. When we were getting ready for shavasana I told Jessica I was really hyper-stressed and was there a certain way I should do shavasana to help me out. She immediately said crocodile-pose "the world outside, Mylynka inside - and be sure to apply pressure to the space between your eyebrows." And when I pressed my forehead (third-eye)on my elbow I involuntarily began to cry. The release was amazing and I left yoga feeling better than I had all day. hell, better than I had felt in a week!!

When I checked my Facebook late last night my friend Karl had posted this as a comment to my photo and it just made my day.

Make it a great week and I hope to post more. I SAID "hope" - ha ha