Thursday, September 15, 2011

Weigh-in Wednesday, Blog Thursday

.. at least I am weighing in on Wednesdays!

So the numbers:

Starting Weight: 275

Last Week: 266.6

This Week:  265.6

One pound in one week.  Hey! That's progress!  If I keep this up I'll be down 52lb  in a year!

I am trying to remain positive... of course I realize if I stay at the rate of 1lb/week then this time next year I'll still be over 200lb!   So, now what?

I am not good at taking things, i.e. diet pills, appetite suppressors, fat burners, what-have-you.  I like my coffee and if I drink coffee AND take anything, I am a spaz, freak, jittery-mess who is 100% certain that her heart will explode in her chest at any second.  NOT a fun way to go through your day (I know this from experience).  If I stop the coffee I am a different kind of mess you don't want to be around either.

I am NOT interested in any type of weight-loss surgery.  I had a former Dr. asked me if I was interested in surgery WHILE SHE WAS CONDUCTING MY PAP.... um, not cool, I am kinda naked, and vulnerable, and um, your hand is in my vagina... can we talk about this later... ooh, did you take the photos of the fish on your exam room walls.... AHHHGGGK! (true story)

It seems like my only real options are to A) diet and B) exercise.

Damn, I hate being rational....

I have been looking at the UTA gym (the MAC) exercise class schedule and for some reason am feeling really intimidated.  I know from past experience that going to the classes were good for me (and they were actually FUN) and I was not the only fattie in there.  I am, for some reason, back in my discomfort zone.  I am afraid.  I don't know why I have regressed.  Maybe because Raefela the wonder instructor graduated (with her PhD in Mechanical Engineering, no less) and i really felt comfortable in her classes.  Maybe i am afraid that other instructors will be tough, or mean, or both.  Of course if they are mean, I can always walk out.  Maybe I am just making excuses....

I don't know what my problem is. I need to get over this mental block and get back to the gym or I am going to be a fat-ass for ever.

Meh.

I probably shouldn't have looked up my "ideal" weight range for my age & height.  The range for a 5'5' 39yr old female is 119-149 with my ideal target as 134.  That seems so unattainable right now.  At my absolute thinnest and fittest, when I graduated from Army Basic Training, I was a size 10 and 142lb.  I have been there and can get back there... but damn I am not 21 anymore....  I also know it is going to take a lot of work and something else, something that I am not good at.... SACRIFICE.

There, I said it.  I am not good at that.  That. Up there... the s-word.  I am pretty self-centered.  I can be, I don't have kids.  I guess I just need to realize that I should be more self-centered and take care of my SELF better.

Meh. 










3 comments:

  1. Take classes! The group mentality helps so much. Plus with a class, you are being told what to do vs just plugging away on a treadmill or weight machine by yourself.

    No trainer should make you feel bad about going to a class to work out, and if they do, they are in the wrong profession! Now they might be tough on you, but that's only because they want to encourage you to work harder. It works every time on me! Whenever I hear, "Come on, give me 3 more reps!" or "Give me another 15 seconds!" I push through to the end. Mylynka, I dare you to try the "Step and Sculpt" class...might be hard at first but sometimes doing something outside of your comfort zone will bring you the biggest results.

    No lie....it is a lot of hard work to be fit and lose weight. Ignore your "ideal target weight". As you said, it seems unattainable and intimidating. Your goal for right now should be ~225. Once you reach that, then revise and keep working.

    Sorry! Didn't mean to write a novel either!

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  2. think about it this way: you don't want to lose weight too quickly anyways. I'm proof of that...sixty pounds in a year and I have sagging skin, wrinkles. Take it gradually, girl! Now get your ass out there and do what you do!! You won't lose any weight sitting there wondering "what if's"....xoxo

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  3. I came to read your blog and found out you miss me!!!! Awwwww. How sweet!!! Well, let me tell you that you should not be intimidated. As an over weight over age instructor I've seen lots of looking fit 20 year old almost passing out in my classes while the more experienced rocked. The MAC is fun, and everyone teaching or taking classes are nice. Don't let it intimidate you. But good job finding an alternative for not hitting the gym. I have not worked out in forever due to the baby but miss it. I will keep on checking ur blog and maybe u will get me motivated.
    hugs!
    Rafa

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