Tuesday, August 10, 2010

First official funk

Today's weigh-in: 271.8 I am not going to complain about a 0.4lb gain. I didn't lose, but I am not upset about going up a little under 1/2 a pound either - probably bloat from yesterday's pizza. This weekend was pretty stressful so I am not gonna candy coat it - I ate like total crap on Monday and am not working out at all. I am in my first official funk of this endeavor.

Maybe the opening up to "everyone" was a trigger, maybe it was my stressful weekend, maybe it is just something in the alignment of the planets and my chakras, but yesterday and today were giant suck bombs! I mean no sleep the night before, sit in your jammies, don't shower, do absolutely NOTHING, and eat a Big Mac & fries (& later cheesy bread) as your meals, sit in front of the computer all day, wish you had ice cream and then beat yourself up for being a big, fat, lazy, fat-ass blob kind of day.

WOW! That felt great...

Ok, seriously that word-vomit tirade felt good, freeing... better. I am having insomnia again and my mind is overwrought with too many stressors (which is why I am currently sipping a double-strength cup of Yogi Kava Stress Relief Tea) so here I am at nearly 1am.

I have some things to deal with, to get situated, and it just seems like I have a lot of pressure on me right now, but I think it is all probably self-induced. This is perhaps my cue to begin exercising. Yea, I said begin. I have not tackled that yet. I think I could handle my pent-up stress, or at least have a place to let some of it out, if I would do some form of exercise. I know I would feel better and would probably sleep better, too.

The time to exercise is coming. I have felt the desire building for a week or so. My body wants to exercise. I am getting restless. I am remembering how good it felt when I exercised regularly, how it made me feel about myself, and how it made me want to do it more. I think the breakthrough is near. I have been visualizing lacing up my shoes and walking around the block, slipping into my swimsuit (without judging myself) and feeling the cool water as I first dive into the pool, feeling that wired-tired that comes after a workout. I am getting kind of excited about it.

Look out... there may be a "My First Workout" post on the horizon!!! :D And Hey! I think I just flipped my funk!!


  1. It's alway right after that big funk that I usually find my mojo. It's just that you have to hit that wall. Maybe taking a walk will help to relieve some of the stress?

  2. I agree with your friend. Stress is tough stuff. If it is any consolation, there are days when I look at numbers and think what? I'm studying all that personal training stuff, and working out really hard, and so they measure my body fat percentage, and they were like "oh you gained 2.2% body fat..." and it's like how is that possible? So I'll just keep at it, that's what you gotta do. Don't let the numbers get you down.