Today's weigh-in: 271.8 I am not going to complain about a 0.4lb gain. I didn't lose, but I am not upset about going up a little under 1/2 a pound either - probably bloat from yesterday's pizza. This weekend was pretty stressful so I am not gonna candy coat it - I ate like total crap on Monday and am not working out at all. I am in my first official funk of this endeavor.
Maybe the opening up to "everyone" was a trigger, maybe it was my stressful weekend, maybe it is just something in the alignment of the planets and my chakras, but yesterday and today were giant suck bombs! I mean no sleep the night before, sit in your jammies, don't shower, do absolutely NOTHING, and eat a Big Mac & fries (& later cheesy bread) as your meals, sit in front of the computer all day, wish you had ice cream and then beat yourself up for being a big, fat, lazy, fat-ass blob kind of day.
WOW! That felt great...
Ok, seriously that word-vomit tirade felt good, freeing... better. I am having insomnia again and my mind is overwrought with too many stressors (which is why I am currently sipping a double-strength cup of Yogi Kava Stress Relief Tea) so here I am at nearly 1am.
I have some things to deal with, to get situated, and it just seems like I have a lot of pressure on me right now, but I think it is all probably self-induced. This is perhaps my cue to begin exercising. Yea, I said begin. I have not tackled that yet. I think I could handle my pent-up stress, or at least have a place to let some of it out, if I would do some form of exercise. I know I would feel better and would probably sleep better, too.
The time to exercise is coming. I have felt the desire building for a week or so. My body wants to exercise. I am getting restless. I am remembering how good it felt when I exercised regularly, how it made me feel about myself, and how it made me want to do it more. I think the breakthrough is near. I have been visualizing lacing up my shoes and walking around the block, slipping into my swimsuit (without judging myself) and feeling the cool water as I first dive into the pool, feeling that wired-tired that comes after a workout. I am getting kind of excited about it.
Look out... there may be a "My First Workout" post on the horizon!!! :D And Hey! I think I just flipped my funk!!